Stories,Stickers and Stamps

  Another day,Another day I will try to forget. Depression is a bitch,let me tell you. One day you have it all and you are on top of the world and another,you are way down in the gutter. Lucky if you get to keep it all,not that it matters. Depression doesn´t pick or choose. It just comes out of nowhere,in and out,out if you´re lucky. It comes in waves and when the wave comes,oh this bitch hits you hard and washes it all away.Happy?Lucky?Let me just take it all away,buddy.None of it will matter when I am done with you.Anyways,got one of these waves hitting me pretty hard and today,I think I will just sleep through it. Really do not feel like facing the world right about now. So,today I will spend in bed,try to sleep and hopefully tomorrow,I will get to sleep for longer so that I do not have to deal with this shit. Hopefully soon,I will ride it out and back to the real world like nothing happened and nobody will know any better.    So this plan of mine kinda is working,kinda not. I sl

   It´s pretty late. I should get some shut eye.Not really tired but I guess, I never am. I should get my sleep on track and tomorrow gotta be up early morning,soooo,I guess bed it is. Pretty warm,not the most comfortable but it will do. Closing my eyes,now!Now...Ok,can´t sleep. Don´t think. Not thinking. I am still not thinking. I will stop thinking,now. Blank mind and I am not thinking,still,now!Suddenly,I hear the banging at the door. I guess,I did fall asleep. Confused and rattled,I open my eyes and the next thing I see,axe coming through the pieces of my door.    Confused,half asleep,terrified. I look at the corner of my room,where the door is,and these loud bashing noises are followed by the flying pieces of my door and the big axe inside it. He walks in. He broke through. Long blonde hair on the sides,half bald. This big menacing face with a sinister smile and the axe in his hand. I don´t know who he is but I know one thing,I don´t have anywhere to go. I scream.I open my eye

   I´m so nervous. This is my first time. Hands shaking uncontrollably. Never really felt this way. It is like they are not my own. Sweat dripping all over me. All over my face and down my brow. I feel my whole body shake. I don´t feel steady on my own two legs but I know,I will get used to it with time. I know it will be alright. Besides,I have the best tutor. Nerves are natural,he said,and it would be strange not to be nervous. It will get better. Still hear that in my mind,which by the way is a nervous wreck at this point. I can´t think straight. All I can think about is making sure it goes down well,it´s perfect. It´s my first time but still.    Here we are,student and the master so to speak. About to begin the show. I am a wreck and he has seen it all. Thank God he is by my side. I do need the guidance even though we practised a dozen times,i still need all the help I can get I want to be perfect. At the moment he is giving me the talk,it will be alright,he says. Sure,I hope so

   Another day. More procedures. More torture and suffering. That damned chair. All these straps. No more!She had enough. She took this for years but no more. Joy has been undergoing these experiments for a long while. The pain and suffering was getting unbearable and today would be the last day. She made her choice on the way to the chair and it might cost her life,but it was worth the freedom. To remember what it was like to live like a normal human being. Away from cold instruments,heartless tests,pain and torture. They can mask it as a breakthrough and as help but she knows better and it sure as hell does not feel as help to her. She had to take the chance and she would take it today.    Joy sat down. The cold metal chair was as inviting as ever. The straps came on and the machine was on next. The test hast started but this time,Joy was ready to give them all of the power they been testing,wanting and pulling out of her. Sitting in the empty cold white room,she closed her eyes.