I can't back down now

   Time stops.Frozen.They all get on with their life.Going where they have to be.Husband,wife,children,boss,work,home,lover,friends..everyone has places to be and everyone is getting there. What should I have for lunch?Did I get everything?I wonder what they will think about my dress?Does he still love me?So many thoughts,so many people,life keeps going for them,they all moving,rushing,one big mass,the ever turning machine.
   Here I stand.Stuck in time.Within the moment.Thinking.Contemplating. Do they know?Will they find out?If they will,I wonder what they will think,say.Will they still look at me the same way?If they know,how much do they know?Am I caught?Are they on to me?I see them look,surely they know by now.Are they just waiting for me to breakdown and admit?Am I loosing it?I can't break.Not now.So much has been sacrificed,I have done so much to get here.I cannot look back,I cannot doubt myself. They all judge me,they would all do the same. No matter what I cannot admit it,I have to keep going with it and hopefully get to the end without them ever knowing. I have to stick to the plan.I have to stay quiet. Nobody must know.They will never understand.
Kate comes over..
-You ok?
-Yeah,It's nothing.


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