Performance anxiety

   I´m so nervous. This is my first time. Hands shaking uncontrollably. Never really felt this way. It is like they are not my own. Sweat dripping all over me. All over my face and down my brow. I feel my whole body shake. I don´t feel steady on my own two legs but I know,I will get used to it with time. I know it will be alright. Besides,I have the best tutor. Nerves are natural,he said,and it would be strange not to be nervous. It will get better. Still hear that in my mind,which by the way is a nervous wreck at this point. I can´t think straight. All I can think about is making sure it goes down well,it´s perfect. It´s my first time but still.

   Here we are,student and the master so to speak. About to begin the show. I am a wreck and he has seen it all. Thank God he is by my side. I do need the guidance even though we practised a dozen times,i still need all the help I can get I want to be perfect. At the moment he is giving me the talk,it will be alright,he says. Sure,I hope so. At least I am comforted by the fact that the master himself is close by and can watch me perform. I will do my best not to let him down.

   Ok,here we go. Light´s out,doors locked. Here she comes. The outfit is pretty tight but considering my role,I gotta be agile and fast,I cannot be encumbered in anyway. I will get used to it,I´m sure.Trying to keep my breath steady and still but I find it hard. Ok,deep breath. In and out. As she turns her back to me in the dark,scrambling for any sort of light,here I go. This is my moment.I lift my tool and get to work. Just a couple of swings is enough but the first time is always messy,he said.Might be my first time and I am super nervous but I am determined to make it work,show of a lifetime.

   I will give them something to talk about and it will only get better.I know master is watching and I am determined to make him proud.