Stories,Stickers and Stamps

   I still remember it like yesterday. The sky was dark blue,the colour of the ocean,you know sometimes you get that bright clear water but sometimes you get those rough deep dark blue seas. That one!It was filled with stars,as if someone scattered little grains,million of tiny little diamonds all over the table cloth which is the night sky. You could hear the music coming from inside. People were having fun,laughter filled the air,it was infectious,enticing. It seemed like so much fun and I had to go in. It was a long day,I needed a drink and I was totally up for a random conversation just to get my mind off all of the shit that plagued me back then. It was busy,drinks were flowing,conversation followed,it was exciting,electric. I was lost the minute I stepped through that door,it was my wonderland in this modern hell I lived. Everyone was a stranger but the smiles I saw,the warmth I felt,it was beautiful.    I made my way to the bar. I needed a drink and I was rea...

   You know when you go to the beach and you draw or write something on the sand,it’s fun to see what other people write. Sometimes it is something crude yes,but most of the time it’s sweet. Groups of friends leaving their mark or just two people in love,sharing a moment with the world around them. I love finding those,they make me happy. It’s sweet.    When you think about,it is sad how in the end,it is all swept away,taken,reclaimed by the ocean. The waves wash it all,they wipe the slate clean. The sand is cleared up for the new writers and artists to come and leave their mark. Just for that day they can claim this land of ocean and sand as their own,but come new day and there will be no trace of them ever being there. There is a certain beauty in it. Beauty and sadness. Like the mark we leave on the beach,we as people,leave a mark with our lives,with those we are with and on those around us. However,it is sad that no matter how big or beautiful that mark is,the m...

Pitch black silence.Interrupted by a heartbeat.Slow,steady,persistent.Intruding on the sleep. Restless. Mind wakes. Drifting in and out of consciousness,the decision is made. Another sleepless night. Imagery flashing,pulsing.Bright as the sun,it hurts. You plead for the escape,peace but there is none to be found. It is all being played out,over and over,no escape,no return,cold sweat. The tossing and turning,unease. Make it stop,alas no end. Another night,you see it all once more. Yet again. Darkness is upon the town but it´s fourth of July in your mind. The colours are flashing,faces,memories,pain.Escape,all you pray for but it never ends,so you take pleasure in pain. You welcome the fireworks in the sleepless nights,you learn to live with it. Embrace it,ready for it and take it head on. Bang,bang bang. Faces,colours,voices. Glory of the pain. Nobody to talk to about the new addiction,but they would never understand. The little secret between you and the night. Covenant...

Drifter,For now,I drive,I drive,Forgive me Father -“Super-mega-hyper punch!Pooooow!” -“Derek!It’s time..get in the car already.” -“Cmon Lucky.It’s time for a new trip.”    Ah!The memories. Those were the times. On the road with dad.Exploring,going where the road takes us. Just us boys.Dad,me and Lucky. That dog loved a good road trip. The memories.Father,if only you could see me now. It’s like nothing has changed. All that’s missing,is you.    I got my car here. She has seen some mileage and has a couple of issues but she is still going strong.I don’t even know what would I do without this baby.She might be old but oh, she purrs like a kitten. I never got that car you promised me year after year, but it’s in the past. I would give everything away, just to bring those summer’s back.The innocence of a childhood and the love of a parent.At that point I could not even imagine the mess I would leave behind me. I got my new pup here as well. Lucky was a wi...

   This was the moment. This was it. The moment when it all stopped. The moment when it all ended. This..is the moment..when I died. Yes,I remember it vividly. I remember it lasted a couple of seconds,I would say, but it felt like…an eternity. Like a film I was watching and the story was slowly unfolding in front of me. Now here I am,staring at the scene. The scene in this movie of mine. The scene which makes the movie. Where it all ends. Where it all goes upside down and changes everything.    Here is the truck.Right in front of us. God,the noise it made!It was like a train. Only this train was on the road and heading straight at us. I don’t remember much about it. I mean,I did just have, like a second, before I realised what is coming. I do remember the headlights,the big blinding headlights,almost like the sun. Almost,like an oncoming train where you see nothing but the lights and you know it is over for you. The noise this thing made. It did feel f...

Suspended. Suspended in time and space. Ethereal. Music is a blur. Can’t make out the words,all I hear is a beat. Lost in thought,in myself. What to do?How to be?What’s next?Words,rumblings,tremors across the busy mind. Eyes wide open,staring at the ceiling..stillness,calm,peace. Blank. Blank canvas of the white ceiling clearing the clutter of the mind leaving it blank and empty. Lying there on the bed,now head clear,empty. Lost in the moment,right here right now.This time I hear the lyrics. They sing the song of loss and love,a new hope and a better future. The memories of that what was and used to be and the new beginnings,the optimism for a better tomorrow and the sadness for that what was. It makes me think,wonder,once more I am afloat,wondering, wanderer . The times we had,memories,the past and the present. How times change. Back to it,back with it.The music zones in and out as the thoughts begin to come back,rushing,running,flowing,throwing themselves at me. Forcing...