The long run

Drifter,For now,I drive,I drive,Forgive me Father

-“Super-mega-hyper punch!Pooooow!”

-“Derek!It’s time..get in the car already.”

-“Cmon Lucky.It’s time for a new trip.”

   Ah!The memories. Those were the times. On the road with dad.Exploring,going where the road takes us. Just us boys.Dad,me and Lucky. That dog loved a good road trip. The memories.Father,if only you could see me now. It’s like nothing has changed. All that’s missing,is you.

   I got my car here. She has seen some mileage and has a couple of issues but she is still going strong.I don’t even know what would I do without this baby.She might be old but oh, she purrs like a kitten. I never got that car you promised me year after year, but it’s in the past. I would give everything away, just to bring those summer’s back.The innocence of a childhood and the love of a parent.At that point I could not even imagine the mess I would leave behind me.

I got my new pup here as well. Lucky was a wild dog. In comparison,Raisin is tame..but..this dog still has it’s moments and oh, sometimes, I feel like those moments will be the end of us, but he’s all I got and I wouldn’t trade him for the world. So here we are,me and Raisin, on the road, like nothing happened. Like all these years were just a natural continuation of the trips with dad, turning into my own adventure. We are always on the road,just us, occasional hitchhiker but that usually, that doesn’t last long. We go where the road takes us. Going from town to town to restock and rest,to lie down for a night a week,only to get back on the road.

   Some people think I’m running,some people who know me,or should I say,knew me,would say that I am just getting this from my father..I just know I gotta keep driving. I have this story,this..history of mine..you would probably be ashamed of me or be judging me or maybe you would understand.I just gotta drive. I’m sure one day I will stop,the car will break and never start again or I will just run out of money but I don’t wanna think about that,not now,I can’t. I just drive. It helps me think,it stops me from thinking,thinking about what I have done and what might be coming.. It feeds my need for isolation and yet brings me to new places where I could maybe just,possibly,fit it,hide amongst the many faces. Just another guy in the crowd. I am a traveller,driver,a tourist?More like,a relentless drifter,somewhere on the road,never looking back,never slowing down,foot on the gas and driving off into the sunset.Romantic.Poetic.Nostalgic. Poetic perhaps,when you think about it like that. Father,you see,I killed a man.

   This car doesn’t judge me,it embraces me with a big warm soft hug of a seat and invites me to get away with a purr of it’s engine.Raisin just loves me no matter what,he doesn’t know I am a killer but even if he knew, I think that all he would want is for us to be together. An owner and his trusty hound.

   Road forgives me,it embraces me and stops me from thinking.I am free. I live. Oh father,I hope you watching over me and forgive me for all that I have done. All I can do now is drive,the only thing you had time to teach me. You might not be proud but am I dealing with this the only way I know,the way you taught me.Travel,go,move,get out there and get lost. They will never find me,they never do and they never will. If one day,I do stop,I’m forced to..I don’t know. I don’t know what I would do. For now,I drive.Forgive me Father. There is such more road left to cover and I have travelled so far to look back now.