Social butterfly



   Social butterfly. That’s what my mom used to call me. Not anymore,nope,she doesn’t any more. Ever since that break in,since my life has been turned upside down,I am just locked in myself. I go out less often,I trust others less often and do not get me wrong,I am not paranoid about the new break in happening or something like that. It’s just,It’s just not the same,and I can’t quite put my finger on it. We had this break-in one time and it was all turned upside down and things were stolen and cops caught the guy and it’s all well and good,and times have passed and I do feel better but somehow it is not the same. I trust less,I talk less and I spend more time at home. Gone are the days of the miss popular,of the flourishing social butterfly going from person to person for a hearty conversation like a butterfly landing on every flower in the garden of life.
   Ha,It’s more of a cold hard cocoon of persona, that is the me now. There are people trying to have a conversation with me and I nod,and agree or stay quiet but I just cannot bring myself to have a full blown conversation like I used to, full of zest and joy, that I used to have. I mind my business,get on with the day. People offer me to buy things and I politely decline,guys flirt and I just smile awkwardly and friends call me to go out and I say I am busy,when we all know, I am at home with my pug watching Netflix. It’s funny how life works,one day your miss everything,miss popular and a year later you are all alone,at home with your pug and a glass of wine. Life changes people,for better for worse and I try to fight it, I really do. 


   You know,I nearly brought myself to go out to town today. Yes!People around,busy crowds and everything,but then I stopped myself,fear taking hold of me and once again, I find myself, locked in place,paralyzed,not knowing why. I guess I will try tomorrow again. You know I am constantly looking out of the window,I used to think it is because I am checking on the weather for the day, but now I notice myself and I think I am yearning for life,for the big great outdoors,the hustle and bustle of the city. We kinda go through life,being busy,having fun and not really noticing what we missing and what we have, but then, certain things in life happen and it makes you open your eyes. It forces you to appreciate the people and moments you do have.
So open your eyes,and no matter what fight that what binds you in place and stops you from being you. There is only one like you so go get them tiger and show them what you are like!
   Well,I got a show to watch and my wine ain’t gonna drink itself. Who knows, maybe tomorrow this butterfly will have the courage to fly again,but today I guess it’s me and my pug at home. 

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