I have to have it



“I am going!”-she said.
“No,don’t go!Don’t worry about it,it’s ok. I’m sorry its all my fault.Just don’t worry about it.”-I replied
“No,I should.We need this.”-she said leaving.

   It’s all my fault. I knew it will end but I could not stop myself.Lately it has gotten worse,I cannot control it,I have to have it! It feels so good and I just want to keep doing it. It’s gotten worse with time and it wasn’t this bad before. I just need it,I want it. Now,it’s all my fault and she puts up with it. Constantly,same thing. It’s just the way it makes me feel. Warm,comfortable and content. Can you blame me?It tastes so good. It helps me forget,it helps me get lost in the moment and nowadays there is so much choice.I want to try them all. Before I knew it,she was back. I smiled half-hearted, feeling guilty. It WAS my fault,guilt was rushing,coursing though me. The all consuming gut wrenching feeling,oh God why. I’m sorry you had to go all the way there just for this.

“I’m back.I got us one with lemon,you mind?”
“No,lemon sounds nice,something new too.”-I replied
“Sorry again for drinking last one,it’s just tea helps me relax.
“Don’t worry about it.”-she laughed..”I brought some dinner too,let’s eat”


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