Taking that step



   The husk. Nothing but the empty husk left of the person you used to be. Drained of all life. Lost all love within you. Tired of crying. Angry and sad. Not hungry,sleeping all the time. No light please,I just want to stay in the dark today. They all try to get you out of the bed but you just don’t feel like it. They want you to eat but you are not hungry and even sick. You don’t want anything,you don’t want anyone. You want to be left alone. A Husk of what you used to be. A shell of your former self. Distorted,twisted,empty used and hurt by other people. You do not have the energy or strength to carry on. You do not want to keep going with this,see this,deal with this and want to run away. Run away from you life right now,run away from you life as is and forget it all. Every time you think about the run,you remember it all. You have the memories and there is no running. No matter how far you run,you run from yourself and the memories catch up with you and what you are. The best way to get to the other side is not to run but embrace the hurdle,take your time,get ready,make the jump and walk forward. Take your time,don’t run,be kind to yourself and once you ready,take the step. Step after step until you walk or run. Do it when YOU are ready,take your time,step at a time.
   People watch,judge,sympathise. They say they understand the pain but the pain is only yours as it is you who are going with it and you feel like nobody can help. All hope seems false but you will not know until you embrace it. Hope is there to lift you up,get you up and moving. It is there to help you make the first step over that hurdle,over that which is in your way and get you going. False or not. It is there to lift you up and give you something to walk towards so embrace it for what it is,take your chance and start your walk. There just might be something after all at the end of the line for this particular track.
   Time changes all,from people to places. Memories get cemented,some are forgotten. If the memory is so strong it cripples you,don’t let it. Keep it,build on it,learn from it and make it work for you. Let it make you stronger and let it be your running shoes on your track forward. You will feel like you are getting tired facing the hurdles even if you keep pushing and build on your memories to make you stronger but it is ok. Take your break,take your time. Remind yourself of the fight you fighting and the journey you making. Remind yourself all that you been through,all that you fighting for and working towards. Let it push and guide you. Let it fuel you and move you. Don’t let the husk and the shell of that what was,drag you into the past. You are better than that,you can do better,you deserve better so push pull,one step a time. Past all the hurdles,moving forward and before you know you will be just where you wanted to be and the world will be your’s to shape. Your life will be yours to mold,it is up to you and nobody else. So take that step and see what happens. Move past that what was and walk towards your future. Fuel yourself to fight for what might be and give yourself that hope. You deserve it and you can do it. So get on your track and start walking,because you can do it.

P.S. this is part of little story series on depression,being down and how to move on.Speaking from experience guys..


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